Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'M REALLY A CHICKEN
I really struggled with whether or not to share our plans to adopt … this early in the process. I tend to keep things fairly private …. and actually enjoy the feeling of having a secret. I thought about waiting until we had our “referral” (an actual picture and description of the child) before sharing our news. However, I finally decided that I needed to share it ….I have appreciated all of the very kind words and WOW’s that have come as a result of our announcement, but the truth is I have spent the first couple of months just wondering if we could really go through with this. The word CRAZY keeps coming to mind. I mean we have a lovely life … with delightful children … and a happy marriage. We are engaged in meaningful ministries that we believe make a difference in our world. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t it ok if we raise our kids to have a life similar to ours … pursuing the American dream while loving God and caring for the less fortunate around us in a small way? The temptation to back out …. to change my mind …. was strong … and as long as no one knew, then I wouldn’t have to explain it. So sharing our story is not about bringing attention or praise to me or our family ... although the words have been very kind. I'm really not that brave. I realized that I needed the accountability and most of all that we would need your prayers to prepare for change of unknown magnitude.