I have discovered over the past year that I am not a "Yes" mom. I am definitely a "No" mom. Regardless of what is asked, I am more likely to say no than yes. This is incredibly obvious while parenting Kenen. Half the time what he asks is completely unreasonable which adds to the problem, but I find ...even when his request is perfectly acceptable, I still will no first ... without even thinking.
A case in point ... I went on the kindergarten field trip to the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago. Kenen was so excited! As we got on the school bus, he said, "Can we sit at the back of the bus?" I said, "No. Let just sit here." He was disappointed and complained a bit, but went ahead and sat where I said to. It was not till we were getting back on the bus to return to school and he asked again, that I realized how ridiculous it was to say no to that request. I was never a back of the bus girl ... was too prone to get carsick, and just put my own desires ahead of his. And more importantly, I missed out on an opportunity to join him in his excitement.
So yesterday, I was facing an entire day with him alone, since Ethan was on a field trip all day.
I decided to be a "Yes" mom for the day. I gave him some choices of things we could do, but basically decided to say yes to his desires ... It was quite difficult for me, and of course, I had to hide a few "no's" in there somewhere ... like when he asked, "Can we get this movie?" "Ummm, let's see what else they have."
It was good practice for me ... we went to McDonald's for lunch. He played in the Playland. Had ice cream for dessert. Rented a movie from Redbox. Came home and played on the computer with me. Then played Wii with me and then with Kristen till dinner. Watched a movie after dinner, and then went to bed.
So not exactly a mind growing, healthy eating sort of day ....
He asks to do all of those things almost every day.
Pretty sure, I'll be back to being a "no" mom again ...
Awesome job being a YES Mom for the day!! It's amazing how our answers really help in our kids' responses! I've gotten pretty tricky on hiding a no. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. It has really made me think and has opened my eyes to my responses. I'm a "no" mom and quick to say no, but I don't really want to be. I need to work on saying yes more...actually knowing the right balance between the two. Saying "yes" all the time could be just as bad as saying "no" all the time.
ReplyDelete